Saturday, October 17, 2009

Words of Encouragement

Once again, we are all in this together. It is not easy to raise good, confident children. It tests our patience, our own confidence and our ability to make a decision. But it is good to know when your friends think you are doing a good job and when one tells you this, it goes a long, long way. I feel like I am a good mom. I know my kids love me. But when you hear kind words from someone else, who is also in the thick of it, it means so much.

The other day I had a conversation with my best friend and I was reminded of this. We both have 2 little kids, hers are a little older than mine. She is starting to make important decisions for her kids with regards to school and her own profession. These are very serious decisions and she takes them very seriously. The catch is that she is the only person who knows the answer. So, my job is to listen and let her know how I feel when asked. I was overwhelmed with telling her how great she is, both as a mom and as an inspiring friend. I went on to tell her how great her kids are and how much I admire all the efforts she has made for her kids so far. She was very touched. I mean, really touched. This is when I realized that we don't tell each other this enough. We need to give other moms praise out of the blue. Unsolicited compliments are the best.

The funny thing is that 15 years ago my best friend and I were really only concerned about sports, school, fellas and frat parties. We didn't need this kind of encouragement then. It is not that we are less confident now, it is that we need our friends even more than we did back then. The catch is, we have even less time to give than we did back then. Everything related to "ourselves" is much more valuable. So when you get to hear words of encouragement or positivity they mean that much more.

If you have a friend with toddlers and you think she is doing a good job, call her and tell her so. Out of the blue, make her feel good. Lift her spirits and refuel her mommy energy level. She will be so happy and surprised to hear it.

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