Saturday, July 18, 2009

I am not a perfect mommy.

Today was not my best mommy day. I woke up rested and ready to go but my kiddos did not do the same. They were exhausted. I had my daughter, who is 3, in camp 3 days last week and she never napped. We had several night activities and she had a sleep over last night. Her cousin slept over in her new "big girl" bed. It was a HUGE deal and I felt I couldn't say no....well, now I wish I had.

My daughter was just exhausted but would not rest. We managed to do things in the morning with a lot of whining and drama. We finally got to the swim pool for a fun outing and she went down hill very fast. Luckily my sister in law was there because while I was retreating back to the car an hour and a half later with my screaming, kicking daughter and 4 bags, I needed somebody to carry my 18 month old son.

I was that mom today who is manhandling their child into their car seat. I tried my best to reason with her. I tried to listen to her demands. I even tried to let her do it herself but nothing was working. She was just too tired. Thank goodness my son was a dream throughout this whole ordeal or I would have lost it before I finally did.

We were about 1 minute from the pool and she kept screaming that she REALLY wanted to get dressed RIGHT NOW. She was trying to be polite by saying excuse me mom but I just knew we weren't going to get anywhere and in fact were probably going to replay what just ocurred with the car seat. I pulled off the road and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

About 5 minutes later, I was once again that woman you see manhandling their child into the car seat. She was hitting me and calling me names and I finally lost it and just screamed as loud as I could. I screamed so loud that my throat hurt and still does. I got her in her car seat and slammed the car door so hard I thought I might have broken it. I then screamed again. And then once more when i was holding the wheel. That is when my son lost it. That is when I felt like a bad mommy. That is when I knew that I was nowhere near perfect today. I am okay with not being perfect but I don't like what I did. I want to be better. Don't we all!!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Love You, friend. Have you said this and why lately?

Please do this. I love my best friend so very much. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how special she is. I first met Heidi my freshman year in college. My friends, Lea and Laurie and I needed to find 3 more girls to live with our sophomore year. We were introduced to 3 volleyball players and immediately hit it off. Heidi, Piper and Dani were the perfect fit for us.

Heidi and I became close initially because we wore the same size clothes and shoes. We told each other that we had an “open closet” policy. If we needed some clothes, we could venture into the other’s closet at any time and borrow anything. From there, our friendship blossomed into a true sisterhood. She helped me through the stress of my pre-Olympic schedule. She actually came to the Olympics and sat with my family. I will never forget looking up at her after my first medal. I won the bronze in the 400 IM. I was on the podium and I saw Heidi crying. It was a pretty special moment.

From the Olympics, we shared a room that was no bigger than 250 sq ft. We traveled and grew up together. We saw each other through boyfriends and graduations for her and divorce and geographical changes for me. Life has happened to us and I am grateful she has known me and supported me the entire time.

We have turned a corner in our friendship now with our families becoming closer. Being a mom with your best friend is extremely special. I had the good fortune of living right down the road from her and her family for a few months this past year. She has a wonderful husband and 2 kids that I adore. We got to spend so much time together. You know, that spontaneous, neighbor fun time.

She has since moved a bit further south. We knew this past year that the fact that we were moments from each other was a rare treat and took advantage of it. We had dinner together as much as we could both as families and with just the adults. After we left California, I tried to tell her how much I cherished the time we all got to spend together. I know she got it as tears were rolling down my face. But today, I am going to write her a letter reminding her how special she is to me and how much I appreciate her friendship. Why not do the same?!

Lunchtime Girltime

Plan a girl’s lunch

I love girl’s night but I am dying for a girl’s lunch. A mid day chit chat and girl time.
I enjoy my girlfriends so much and appreciate my time with them more and more every year. I don’t know what it is but as the years go by, I realize the importance of my girl time.

And I love the idea of a fun leisure lunch. It makes me feel like I am in Paris or some place fabulous. Sipping wine or having a little cocktail at lunch is so different from my norm that I welcome it with open arms. It is a reason to do a little happy dance and feel so special.

Life is just better with girlfriends. We get to talk about our kids. Our favorite shows or celebrities. Politics. Our husbands. All of it is wonderful. I was talking with my friend who said that her husband wonders what in the world takes her girls nights 3 hours. And she says to him that we are done eating in 45 minutes we take 3 hours to tell our stories cause we can never finish any thought when the kiddos are around.

It is so true. I find it impossible to have a full length conversation unless the kids are sleeping or we have a sitter. And you know what, mommies need the full convo every now and then. So let’s enjoy it over a lunch and refuel for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Nighttime TV and flatter stomach

If you are at all like me you neglect the sit-ups at the end of a workout. I love a good sweat so I tend to focus more on the cardio and then fit in a few weights. Generally by the time I am done with my workout, I glance at my watch and am rushing to get out of there to finish the 45 other things I need to do before picking up the kiddos from school/daycare.

But really, come on, it is about 5 extra minutes. So let’s get to it.
Here is what you need to do. Before you hop into bed. Literally…so after you have brushed your teeth, washed your face and finished anything else you do lay down on your bedroom floor. Turn the TV on to a yummy program. Take a moment to stretch then start with a normal half sit-up. Put the palms of your feet on the floor with your knees bent. Keep your hands behind our head and your shoulders back. Lift your back off the floor so that you feel your tummy working. Be sure to blow out with each sit “up”.
50 sit-ups

Then switch to crunches. Same position except your legs are bent and feet are in the air.
Don’t pull your head with your hands. Keep your arms and hands relaxed but focus on getting your chest to your knees. Breath out with each crunch.
50 crunches.

Now to work the sides or obliques. Lay on your side with your legs bent. You can mix it up either doing a sit-up or a side-up. Sit up is where your upper body is still facing the ceiling. A side-up is where your upper body is facing the side and your elbow is crunching up.
25 side sit-ups on each side.

Finally to bicycles. Laying on your back with hand behind your head. Lift straight legs about 3 inches off the floor and pull one knee in while other leg stays straight. Try to bring the opposite elbow to that knee. Kick out the bent leg and bring in the other knee while twisting with other elbow. Move through this like you were riding a bicycle.
50-100 total.

Finally, get in a good stretch and hop into bed. Now you have done your sit-ups…but did you floss!!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Who have I the mirror?

Take an extra minute to look at yourself in the mirror.
It is amazing how we have grown up. Maybe we like ourselves maybe we need a little reintroducing. Ok, stop laughing. I am serious. When was the last time you really looked at your face. Not the wrinkles, (aka laugh lines) but beyond all the spots and imperfection.

I feel like the speed of our days is insane. I trust that my mommy friends out there know what I am talking about. There are days when I get 5 minutes in front of a mirror if I am lucky. So do me a favor today and find some time to appreciate what you have. Look at your eye color. Just recently I have been told over and over how my daughter and I have the same eye color. So I am going to take a close look at mine and find the brown and green in them.

I know my nose has changed. I want to see it from a profile. Who have I grown to look like in my family?? And then there is my lip. I am always biting it and my daughter is always asking why I have a bump on it. I want to check that out.

Make sure to smile in the mirror so that you can appreciate all your character. It is actually pretty funny cause when I do this, I tend to laugh at myself which is so much fun and a great part of this process. Don’t be too critical. You are beautiful because you have lived. You have freckles and sunspots cause you went on vacation and enjoyed the sun.

Love who you are, today, my friend.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Feel good about what you eat today!

Start the night before. Plan our your meals and write them down on one piece of paper. Make sure you have all the ingredients needed because if you don’t you won’t go get it and you won’t do it. So put yourself in a position to succeed by lining everything up on Sunday. I think starting one of these little mini-diet-tests is always best on Monday. That way you can really live it up on the weekend.

Decide what you want to focus on. Is is to eat lean protein? Is it to eat more veggies? Is it to eat less carbs? Is it to cut out sweets? Ouch!! I remember being on the road for the NBA and deciding I couldn’t take another snack tray. After the game I ordered a huge plate of broccoli from room service. My person was needing veggies in the worst way.

Decide what you feel like your body is craving and do that for the week. This is not a change forever, just a fun thing to do for the week. But it can also be a helpful learing tool. What kind of foods can you NOT live without or what kinds of foods actually make you feel better.

It is fun to get the whole family to do it with you…most times just the adults. If you feel like this is something you might want to do more often, it would be a good idea to keep a food journal so you know what worked for you and what did not.

Enjoy eating!