Saturday, July 18, 2009

I am not a perfect mommy.

Today was not my best mommy day. I woke up rested and ready to go but my kiddos did not do the same. They were exhausted. I had my daughter, who is 3, in camp 3 days last week and she never napped. We had several night activities and she had a sleep over last night. Her cousin slept over in her new "big girl" bed. It was a HUGE deal and I felt I couldn't say no....well, now I wish I had.

My daughter was just exhausted but would not rest. We managed to do things in the morning with a lot of whining and drama. We finally got to the swim pool for a fun outing and she went down hill very fast. Luckily my sister in law was there because while I was retreating back to the car an hour and a half later with my screaming, kicking daughter and 4 bags, I needed somebody to carry my 18 month old son.

I was that mom today who is manhandling their child into their car seat. I tried my best to reason with her. I tried to listen to her demands. I even tried to let her do it herself but nothing was working. She was just too tired. Thank goodness my son was a dream throughout this whole ordeal or I would have lost it before I finally did.

We were about 1 minute from the pool and she kept screaming that she REALLY wanted to get dressed RIGHT NOW. She was trying to be polite by saying excuse me mom but I just knew we weren't going to get anywhere and in fact were probably going to replay what just ocurred with the car seat. I pulled off the road and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

About 5 minutes later, I was once again that woman you see manhandling their child into the car seat. She was hitting me and calling me names and I finally lost it and just screamed as loud as I could. I screamed so loud that my throat hurt and still does. I got her in her car seat and slammed the car door so hard I thought I might have broken it. I then screamed again. And then once more when i was holding the wheel. That is when my son lost it. That is when I felt like a bad mommy. That is when I knew that I was nowhere near perfect today. I am okay with not being perfect but I don't like what I did. I want to be better. Don't we all!!!

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