As mommies, we are often pushed to our limits. We have great mommy days, good mommy days and, every now and then, not so good mommy days. I really despise the feeling of the "not so good" mommy days. In fact, there have been a few, okay several, that I have not been proud of. I am writing about this today because my best friend and I just had a conversation about this very subject. We described it as if we are a glass of water and with every whine, cry and meltdown the glass is filled more and more until the damn thing starts to flood the whole house. That is the moment to which all moms can relate. That feeling of needing to let go of so much frustration and anger and whatever that you just yell. Actually it is is more like, you just YELL!
Honestly, with me, I am really good right up to that point. Keeping my cool as my child is hitting and screaming. Telling her to "just relax" and that "this is not acceptable behavior". It's not until, after manhandling her into her car seat(for the second time) while she is out of her head screaming at me and pulling my hair that I slam the door and scream so damn f-ing loud that I think the entire west hears me. Then I proceed to get in the car and explain with another scream, "I just wanted you to get in your damn car seat!" Yes, this really happened. Not my proudest moment.
For real, I screamed so loud that my voice was horse for the rest of the day. This didn't do any good as both my kids were now screaming. And after the scream I felt like an awful parent. But during the scream, I felt so damn good. For a second, I sat there in the car and had this blank look on my face. Once I came to, I immediately tried to calm down my son and reassure my daughter. Then I felt this need to talk to somebody about it to make sure I wasn't going insane. Friends are good at making you feel normal.
My best friend and I told our stories and made each other feel better. We reminded each other that we are good, and often times GREAT parents. We cried and laughed and in the end knew that we all were going to survive.
We parents tolerate a lot during a day. It is a wonderful job and I just want everyone to know that we are not perfect but I know we are trying our best to raise really good kids. Keep at it and if you need to scream, make it a good one.
You are hilarious! I love your blog - I think most of us can definitely relate with the "man handling" into the car seat. Reading your makes it seem like we are talking over a glass of wine - it's great! When things were crazy when we first brought Jonas home - I would call Lee Anne and make her tell me her war stories of first bringing home the twins - she always made me feel better. :)
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