Oh man! My book agent got back to me today regarding the next book I wanted to write. It has a really catchy title and I think there is a REAL book in me but I had been struggling. I sent him what I had in hopes that he would help me figure out what I should be writing about and if I had anything at all worthwhile. It didn't go well.
Let's start with the positive. He thinks I have talent when it comes to writing and humor. But he doesn't see my book as salable. He said to me, "Sorry, but I do not want to represent you and do not want to discuss this any further." For the first little while, I was focusing on how much he liked my writing but as the day went on, I started to feel a little down. There isn't any other reason for it...just the darn book agent! He did tell me to keep trying and that someone else might like it. I actually do believe that (and I am really honest with myself) but, outright failure is pretty tough to take.
The other part of this equation is the fact that I am super self-conscious of my writing. I have been like this forever. I was ridiculously nervous about it at Stanford. You should have seen some of the comments I got on my freshman papers. Just thinking about it now, makes my stomach turn. So it was a big deal for me to hand over my thoughts and half-written chapters to someone who lives for the business and was going to look it over with a fine-tooth comb.
My point in sharing this with you today is that I am not defeated. He is one person. He is not a mom(although he has 3 kids) and I am writing a funny mom book. I love funny mom books. But this has fueled my fire. I am even more determined now to make it great and try again. This is a very important message we should be teaching our kids.
Our kids are going to fail. Some more than others. They are going to hear negative talk or phrases like, "you will never be able to do that", or "you aren't good enough". The only person I want my kids listening to when it comes to their dreams and goals is themselves. Every night my mom said to me, "You can do anything you want to as long as you put your mind to it." I believed this. I knew I had the power to work hard, dream big and not only recover from failure but be stronger and better because of it.
I am going to keep at my book. I am going to fulfill my dream and always look back on this day a great moment of learning and appreciation for the power of believing.