The new(er) role of dad

It takes a village. We’ve all heard the expression and most of us would agree with the sentiment when it comes to raising children. What we often fail to recognize is that the dynamic of the American family is so much different than that of our parents.  When my mom and dad were raising my brother and I, my mom claims that my dad never changed a single  diaper.  Who knows if that's really true…my dad claims to "not remember", but the fact is... even if it isn't true, it isn't far off.  And I know my dad wasn't the only one. That was just the way of things at that time.

Erik with Skye & Spider

Today, however, things have change. The role of the fella in my family is a much more active member of the team on every level.  Let's face it, in today’s family with working moms and dads, and more activities than ever for our children, we all have to pull our weight. Whether that’s carpool or laundry, cooking or emptying the dishwasher (how in the world can it fill up every single day, sometimes twice???!) In order for the wheel to turn, moms and dads have learned to divide and conquer.  And while this mentality did not appear over night, and took quite a few arguments to see eye-to-eye on what it takes to keep this machine working, it’s the only it works for our family & our relationship. 

For example, if I am getting the kids dressed, Erik is packing their lunches.  When I ask for a girls’ night out, he picks a night for hockey.  And although he still asks me to text him the grocery list, he doesn't mind stopping by the store. He’s learning to embrace these tasks.  So anyone who thought that teamwork was just for sports, you missed a lesson. Teamwork is essential to a healthy, happy and thriving home life as well.   

Decide to have more FUN every single day!

I feel like the fun decision is made before we even get out bed. You can kinda tell if the day is gonna be a good one or not. Every now and then the unexpected happens, your attitude changes and the day ends up being better than once thought. Most times, however, we know it before we are taking our first pee.

I had a bit of a revelation yesterday. I reminded myself that life is too short to be too serious or structured. Don't get me wrong, I am able to write this blog cause my kids nap but I think every day, you can carve out a little unexpected fun for your kids, for your family, for your relationship/marriage and for YOU! I realized this and made a mental pack with myself(does that even make sense) to have more fun in my days on this earth...to pick a part of everyday and make a different decision, you know, the fun one, instead of the serious one.

Last night, as we were coming home from my friends house, I asked the kids if my plan was ok. I said, "How about if you guys take a bath, put on your PJ's and then we all snuggle up in my bed and watch a movie?" It was about 8pm when I made this suggestion, which is about 15 past their bedtime. We all got a little giddy when I said this...we were so excited. Although my 22 month old son had no clue why...he just joined in cause it looked cool. But, I think he felt it. And that is part of my point.

I think that positive and happy feeling can completely change a family dynamic. It has been a tough year for a lot of people. Many families have split up or are fighting more than normal. I understand that we have all been stressed and for very good reason, but at some point we have to stop and enjoy life or it is gonna pass us right on by. My husband and I have decided to just be downright more positive. To take time to do fun things and make each other smile. To be spontaneous and goofy whenever possible. The little moments like this are what really matter and count.

Tonight, my hubby is out of town and has been for about a week. I got a babysitter and am heading to the movies cause it will make me happy. My kids are excited about the sitter that is coming and they think it is a treat. I don't know what tomorrow holds but with the snow falling outside, there are tons of FUN options and I know we will pick a good one. I hope you do the same!