Time is flying by

I swear, I was just taking down my holiday decorations a little while ago and now, somehow, there are only 10 more days of school. Where did this year go?

Everyone I meet who has a child older than mine says, “You better soak up every minute…You’ll blink, and they will be heading off to college.” And what I’m starting to realize is they’re absolutely correct.

My daughter turned seven this spring. She got her ears pierced. She competed her first balance beam routine. She’s speaking a second language. And she’ll be a second-grader in a few short weeks. And my son, he’s five now. He ran his first 5k, scored his first hockey goals and is graduating preschool. And he’s more than excited to be a big kid and start kindergarten. They’re both growing up so fast.

I know I’m not the only parent guilty of getting caught up in our lives, in that nose down in the minute-to-minute details and planning of it all that I forget about some of the little things along the way. I find I have to remind myself to look up and “smell the roses” a bit.

And what I have found is that this year has been the year of the little things. Soaking up the moments of snuggling, running to the bus stop, doing our homework on the swing set, eating cereal at 8 p.m., and nightly giggle fests while watching America’s Funniest Home Videos. All those moments weren’t necessarily big events or in the plan, but they are the little things that I’m starting to realize I will miss once my kiddos are “too big” to spend time that with mom and dad, or just too busy. And looking at our schedules, those days are fast approaching.

So take a moment, or better yet, make a few moments this summer that you’ll remember because those are the memories that carry on for a lifetime.

Mom Guilt

I feel like I should make myself a t-shirt to wear on every trip that bluntly reads, "Mom Guilt", so that everyone knows what I am feeling. Now imagine if all my fellow moms were to wear that shirt when they were feeling it. I could totally use the "I know what your feeling" remarks from a total stranger every now and then, or a friendly, "Welcome to the Mom Guilt Club" smile.  If you are a parent, you get what I'm saying.  

I know that my kids are fine. Yes, they miss me and are pretty darn good at drudging up the mom guilt quickly when they want something, but they are also incredibly understanding of my work schedule.  I equate the mom guilt feeling to the adrenaline at the start of a race, when you can't sit still and you have to pee. It's instinctual. As soon as I start packing my bags, the mom guilt pang hits.  It starts in my head and works its way down into my heart, and it doesn't really go away until I bust through the front door at the end of a trip. 

But mom guilt is also a good thing, right? I mean, it stems from love and keeps us grounded. I'm mean, I'm writing this on an airplane while I am knee deep in feeling...So I guess that means I have learned how to deal with it, or at least manage it. For my experience as a traveling, working mom, here is my best effort at 5 Ways to Help Manage Mom Guilt:

1. Talk to your kids. Tell your kids about why you work and the importance of contributing to the financial well being of the family. (To be frank, I ask them about all their activities and remind them that they cost money. Mom and dad need to help with all our bills so we can have more fun together.)
2. Face Time or Skype.  Be a part of bedtime from you computer or phone on the road.  Once the kids get used to it, they will talk to you (or ignore you) like you are right there with them.  You can even read with your kids.
3. Share your schedule ahead of time. I find that my kids don't appreciate when I spring my work trips on them. They want to know if mom is going to be there in the morning or not. Don't avoid it, deal with it.
4. Let them react.  If you kid wants to be mad at you or sad at you for being gone, sometimes the painful truth is we need to let them and just take it.  Sit back and hear them out. Tell them you understand and love them so very much.  Even young kids sometimes just need to vent.
5. Show them where you are going.  I do this especially when I am working with my charities. If I can connect my kids to what I am doing, then it feels like I have a team of support back home, and they feel more involved.

Hope these help! If you have other tips for dealing with mom guilt, share them! We moms need all the coping mechanisms we can get :)

Chlorine is in the air

It’s that time of year again, when kids are itching to hit the pool and parents are hunting down swimsuits, digging for goggles, and quite possibly wondering, “how in the world do I get my kid swim ready?” Well I am here to help. And believe me, after five months of schlepping the equipment of ski season, swim season is a cinch! 

The first and most important things to know is that you have to make learning to swim a priority.! No matter how great you are as a parent or how closely you watch your child at the pool, bad things can happen right under your nose.  For example, I was chatting with my friend in the baby pool when Spider was 1, sitting down right next to him. I glanced at my friend while she was talking for what felt like 3 seconds, but when I looked down at my son, he was face down in the pool…he hadn’t yet figured out how to pull his feet/legs back under him to stand up.  He and I were both freaked. So remember, it doesn’t matter how well YOU swim, it’s how well your child swims without you that’s important.  Get them in lessons first and foremost!

Here are seven things to help you have a fun and enjoyable swim season:

1. Find a lesson and instructor that you trust and that works for your family. Check out usaswimming.org. As I have said about a million times to anyone that will listen….Take your child to swim lessons with a calm and happy demeanor. Even if they scream and cry, smile and tell them you love them. Hand them over to your trusted instructor, and then get out of sight. I cried every second of my first set of lessons! As a parent you cannot give in!
2. Make a curriculum. If your child is beyond pool safety and you want them to learn to swim, set expectations with the instructor. Yes, it should be fun, but learning strokes can and should be a part of their curriculum.
3. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. Repetition is key! The more days you swim in a row, the better you will become. Often if a kid hasn’t been in the water all winter, they will jump in the pool for the first time at the beginning of summer and “forget” what to do.  Get them back into the swing of swimming with a one or two week long EVERY DAY series of lessons. These lessons don’t have to be long, maybe 20 minutes, but the repetition will be worth it.
4. Keep a swim bag! You must create a swim bag with suit, cap (mostly for girls), goggles, towel, sunscreen, conditioner and lotion.  To maintain the suit, rinse it out after every swim. Learn how to put your cap and goggles on properly. You find great instructions on use and correct fit on Speedo's Facebook page. Using conditioner helps keep hair from getting super brittle and tangled due to the water and chorine. And put on lotion, chlorine water dries your skin out like nothing else! If you don’t put lotion on, you will itch like crazy!
5. Go for it. If you’re wondering whether or not your child is ready for a swim team, I say just GO FOR IT! I firmly believe that kids get better and learn faster in a group/team environment.  Yes they are forced to swim more and practice is longer, but you will see such incredible improvements that lead to some serious confidence and smiles!
6. Learn about the sport. Once your kid is on the swim team, you need to learn about the strokes and their times.  The greatest part of swimming is that it is all time based.  Therefore the kids can focus on their own PR’s as opposed to what color ribbon they won!
7. Celebrate a competitive attitude! If you child is bummed they didn’t win, I think that is fantastic.  You can help them learn that winning isn’t all that’s important, about effort and determination and commitment. Use the disappointment as a way to teach them about ways they can improve for themselves and be faster. If they are a sore loser, use the moment to teach that is not acceptable behavior and redirect them. The joy of an individual sport is that the outcome is in their hands. 

     Such incredible life lessons can be taught through the ups and downs in the swim pool.  Enjoy them

     and Happy Swimming!

The NFL Draft

Watching the NFL draft reminds me of all those years I worked for the NBA and LOVED it. There is a crazy amount of excitement and an amazing sense of innocence from all the players. It is the first time many of us get to meet these big stars, and they are so nervous! To be honest with you, they were so cute. Young, thankful, grateful and innocent.

I know the NFL is big business, but all I've seen at the NFL Draft is emotion - pure and raw. And that is why I, we, watch. The hugs between family members, the tears at the table, and the childhood dreams coming true as young men walk onto the stage to greet Mr. Goodell or answer a phone call from their new team owner. What a moment! And even though there is an incredible paycheck attached, when you break down this draft moment it is beautiful in it’s purest form. It is A DREAM coming true. And under those full beards and 2-300lb frames, they are still the same little boys waiting to get picked to play the game they love!

Once they hit training camp, the game is all business. But on draft night, when Roger Goodell calls their name…at that moment, it means they've made it. It means all of their hard work has paid off. All of their families hard work has paid off. You can see it. You can feel it. And, it is awesome. I have heard draftee’s say, “You get this one moment, you’ve got to go for it.” Go for it and hug whomever you can, cry if you want to, and jump up and down if that’s what makes you happy.

And then, of course, there are the ones that chose to be present at Draft night and did not get drafted. Even thinking about it now makes me cringe. Every time they would show Geno Smith, I would imagine what he was feeling, and I was sad for him. It was brutal to watch him get passed up time and time again. When they put him on TV, he was always looking down at his phone and probably wishing he could hide from the cameras. But he will be better for it. It is just another reminder of how young these men are even though they seem so strong.

We’ve all had our dream moments. For me, it was making the Olympic team and then winning a gold medal. Part of the joy of making the team was getting to enjoy the moment with my family and taking it all in. Draft night is just that, I would imagine. One part of the dream is realized, and they get to pat themselves on the back and relive the moment of their official announcement as a member of the NFL. And then they begin to focus on the second part of their dream… of doing something great with this opportunity both on the field and off. Dreaming of making it to the Pro Bowl, of an MVP season, and being named a Super Bowl Champion all while giving back to the communities around them.

Seeing all those dreams and goals in the smiles of a 21- or 22-year-old when he hears his name called, that's what the NFL Draft is all about!